The Courage to Do What Is Right: A Lesson from an HR Leader

It began as subtle ripples—an employee quietly hinting at conflicts during a check-in, a colleague sharing concerns about hostile behavior. As the Head of HR, I knew that workplace dynamics can be complex, but something felt different this time. Over weeks, the complaints became more frequent and more distressing. Patterns of toxicity emerged: dismissive remarks, manipulation, and an unnerving ability to twist narratives to favor themselves.

The individual at the center of the issue wasn’t a high performer or someone driving exceptional results. Yet they held sway over key decision-makers, often bending the truth with startling ease. Their ability to distort situations—and the reluctance of leadership to challenge them—left the organization vulnerable. Employees felt unheard, morale plummeted, and productivity faltered.

The Turning Point

It all came to a head when an employee confided in me during a one-on-one. Their words cut straight to the heart: “I feel like no one’s willing to stand up to them. I’ve tried, but it’s draining. If things don’t change, I’ll have to leave.”

As an HR leader committed to fostering a safe and thriving workplace, I couldn’t ignore the impact of this behavior. After a thorough investigation involving multiple witnesses, patterns of manipulation and dishonesty became unmistakably clear.

I made the decision to recommend action—a direct conversation with the individual, coupled with clear boundaries, coaching interventions, and consequences if their toxic behavior persisted. But what followed left me in disbelief: resistance, dismissal, and avoidance. Leaders balked at the thought of confrontation, worried about upsetting the status quo or provoking backlash. My insistence on accountability was met with frustration and, eventually, pushback.

The Cost of Standing Up

Advocating on behalf of employees came at a cost I hadn’t anticipated. I found myself excluded from pivotal conversations and my influence as Head of HR was gradually undermined in ways that were subtle yet unmistakable. Rather than confronting the underlying issue, leadership appeared to take the path of least resistance—choosing to sideline my efforts instead of addressing the real problem head-on.

Even so, I don’t regret taking a stand. While challenging the toxic behavior may not have aligned with leadership’s short-term comfort, it was the right choice for the organization and its people. Toxicity, no matter how cleverly disguised, has a corrosive effect—eroding trust, creativity, and collaboration.

Lessons Learned

This experience taught me two lessons worth pondering:

1. Leadership Requires Courage: True leaders confront challenges head-on, even when the solutions are uncomfortable. Organizations flourish when values take precedence over convenience.

2. HR as an Advocate: As HR professionals, our responsibility is to protect and empower employees, even when the path is difficult. Standing up for others, even at personal cost, underscores the value we bring to an organization.

Moving Forward

Eventually, I realized that my values and the organization’s approach to culture were no longer aligned. I chose to move on to a new role—one where I could work alongside leaders who shared my commitment to fostering a workplace built on respect and integrity. Today, I work with organizations determined to address workplace challenges with courage and empathy.

For those in HR reading this, I encourage you to stay resilient. Advocating for employees isn’t always easy, but it’s a responsibility we carry with pride. And for organizational leaders, I ask: Are you willing to confront the hard truths that could transform your workplace for the better?

If your organization is struggling with workplace dynamics or cultural challenges, my team specializes in guiding businesses through these transformative moments. Together, we can build an environment where employees thrive and toxicity is eliminated.